All newborns are a gift, no matter how they come into the world. As a newborn photographer in Mt. Pleasant, MI, I have the chance to get to know families with many different stories. Some fertility journeys require "a little science and a lot of love" to complete their family. This is one family's surrogacy story:
The Newborn Celebration Project
One thing that I love about being a newborn photographer is the chance to get to know my clients. No two families have ever had the same story in more than a decade of photographing babies in the Mt. Pleasant newborn photography studio. Every family story begins differently. For some, their bundle of joy joined them right away. For others, the journey to parenthood may take a bit longer, but the celebration of a new baby is no less sweet.
The truth is that there is a big group of local Michigan families out there that don't get the easy start that they may have hoped for. Unfortunately, many of these families struggle with infertility, navigating through fertility struggles without a support group, often feeling alone, ashamed, or too shy to share their experiences.
No one should ever feel embarrassed of their infertility struggles or "alternate" starts.
With The Newborn Celebration Project, I'm giving a voice to all stories through the infertility blog, visually captured with newborn photography. However, there is power in numbers. When you are brave enough to share your story publicly, you donate your strength to others in similar situations.
Meet Derick and Marilyn
Even while they were dating, Derick and Marilyn knew they wanted to be parents one day. Although they weren't ready to jump into parenthood quite yet, they excitedly discussed the possibilities that that particular journey would hold. They both knew they were meant to be parents one day.
To put a little more pressure under them, both Marilyn and Derick grew up as the only child in their household, which meant it was up to them to pass on their family line. But, it also meant their future child would get all of the love and spoiling from both sets of grandparents. Everyone in the family wanted to snuggle a grandchild when the couple was ready.
One thing was for sure; their future child would have more love than anyone could put into words.
First Comes Marriage
After Derick and Marilyn tied the knot, they decided to take their time and enjoy being newlyweds and married life before adding a baby to the family picture. However, they quickly settled into a routine, and two years after being married, they began trying to conceive their first child. However, they had no idea what their future would hold.
The Couple Faces Infertility
As fate would have it, conceiving a child wasn't as easy as they hoped. As the years began passing with disappointing negative pregnancy tests, they realized they might need a little help. So, the couple turned to In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatments.
According to the Mayo Clinic:
"During IVF, mature eggs are collected (retrieved) from ovaries and fertilized by sperm in a lab. Then the fertilized egg (embryo) or eggs (embryos) are transferred to a uterus. One full cycle of IVF takes about three weeks. Sometimes these steps are split into different parts and the process can take longer."
A Strong Support System
Unfortunately, the first round of IVF was unsuccessful. Although disappointed, the couple was undeterred. They were meant to be parents. They just knew it. Backed by their family and friends' love and unending support, the couple continued trying over the next few years.
Sadly, all IVF attempts were unsuccessful for Derick and Marilyn.
The Surrogacy Option
Heartbroken, Derick and Marilyn began to feel defeated. They wanted to be parents with every inch of their being, but reality started to sink in. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
But, there was still one more option they hadn't tried. So, the couple began to explore surrogacy.
Their Surrogacy Story
Surrogacy is a daunting process in itself in every surrogacy story, but for this family, nothing could stop them. Over the next several months, Derick and Marilyn interviewed and got to know many different women who could be their future child's possible gestational surrogate mother. There were many lovely candidates, but they needed to find their ideal match.
Once they found the woman they felt comfortable with to be their child's birth mother, the process of IVF began again. Along with the selected surrogate, the couple went through the necessary legal procedures, medical screenings and necessary tests.
Finally, they found a match. Thankfully, their dream of having a child was just within reach!
Sadly, that wasn't the case. As luck would have it, the first round of IVF didn't work. The pregnancy didn't stick.
Never Give Up Hope
Marilyn and Derick were devastated. It looked like their surrogacy story wouldn't have the happy ending they hoped for. The blood, sweat and tears mixed with the continued disappointment began to weigh heavily on their conscience. How many more times could they go on? How much more heartbreak could they endure?
One more try. The couple decided they had one more attempt.
Myka, a Miracle 10 Years in the Making
Finally, it happened. After ten years of bad news, Derick and Marilyn finally got the phone call that they were hoping for! The final attempt with the gestational surrogate stuck, and they had a baby on the way. Derick recalls the moment they found out, calling it "surreal" after years of disappointment. They were ecstatic.
So, what did they do once they were finally able to hold baby Myka? They celebrated with lots of hugs and snuggles, and skin-to-skin contact. The couple explains, "This is our first and only child, so we were just literally in awe and scared and excited all rolled into one feeling. It was and is amazing every day with our little nugget."
"A Little Science and a Lot of Love."
- Derick
The couple is absolutely in awe of their newest addition, baby Myka. They came into my newborn photography studio in Mt. Pleasant, MI, to celebrate, and the depth of their love for Myka was palpable.
When asked about their journey, Marilyn said, "[The journey] was absolutely dreadful at many points, but ultimately, it was the best gift we could have ever received. Our entire family is so grateful we didn't give up. Our munchkin is so so loved and has been awaited for so many years—I just hope we live up to her expectations. We love her so much."
Contact a Maternity and Newborn Photographer
Do you have an infertility story? As a maternity and newborn photographer in Mt. Pleasant, MI, I'd love to help you celebrate your newest addition with infant photography, a maternity photoshoot, or both! Your story is transformative and indicative of your sheer strength, bravery, eternal love and determination. Capture it for a lifetime. Send me a message through the contact form today!
Whether your family came together through fertility treatments, a surrogacy story, adoption or another method, sharing your story can empower others struggling in a similar situation. However, if you don't feel comfortable sharing your story, don't worry; many other families are in the same boat. As a newborn photographer, I'll respect your privacy and everything will remain confidential. All images and fertility stories are shared only with the client's permission.
External Resources:
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/in-vitro-fertilization/about/pac-20384716
https://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/using-surrogate-mother